I love baseball. I didn’t realize this until I was already in my 20’s, but I LOVE it. And somewhere along the line I adopted the Boston RedSox as MY team. I’m from Indianapolis, so I have no hometown loyalties. I also occasionally cheer for the Chicago Cubs because the very first game I saw live was at Wrigley Field. A Cubs player took a swing at one of the Padres and a team brawl ensued on the field. And it was awesome. So yeah, every now and again I cheer for the Cubs. What can I say–I’m a sucker for a good fist fight.
Anyways, back to the RedSox. I can give you no solid reason for my adoration (mostly because I don’t remember), but typically, once I learn the players’ names and really get into a team, my loyalty tends to stick. So it should come as no surprise that I was excited to live in a major city with a long-standing heated rivalry with my beloved BoSox: the NY Yankees. I missed the chance to see any games in the Old Yankees Stadium, but as soon as baseball season was upon me last year, I purchased (at no cheap cost) two tickets for the first match-up between the Red Sox and the Yankees. And I was EXCITED. Working at a spa at the time didn’t prove to be fertile ground for friends who enjoyed sports of any kind, so I wasn’t sure who to bring along. I invited a guy I had befriended from the hotel who at the very least seemd like a normal human being. I’ll spare you the long version of the story (because I got such a kick out of telling everybody the story last year*), but the night didn’t go as planned. The rain delay proved to be too much for my guest resulting in the loss of seeing the game (and the loss of all that money), petty bickering and awkward conversation over a meal that I had to pay for. Yeah it was one of THOSE nights. I ended up watching the RedSox hit a homerun (near my ticketed seats) on my television in Jersey City.
I learned my lesson the hard way, and this year is going to be different. I just purchased two tickets to see the Red Sox play the Yankees at Yankee Stadium on May 17th. In preparation of the big game, I’ve decided to vet all candidates with a thorough questionnaire. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
1. Do you like baseball?
2. Would you rather get water-boarded than spend an hour or so in conversation with me?
3. Should the night result in a complete disaster at your hand, will you make me pay for dinner?
4. Does the rain turn you into a friggin pansy**
Bonus Question #5: Red Sox or Yankees? (this question will not ultimately determine whether or not you can come, but it’s good to know)
So if you’re interested in joining me, please submit your questionnaire along with a 500-word essay on how awesome I am.
*FYI: as a writer and storyteller it is in your best interest not to cross me, or people will inevitably hear about it–either in person, on stage, or on the internet.
**Not my top two choice words, but this is supposed to be a family friendly blog (Hi Grandpa!)