Wheel In The Sky

by Stephanie

“The Wonder Wheel looks like an innocent Ferris wheel, but in fact it’s a stomach-churning instrument of evil.”

Wow, if only I had done my homework before going to Coney Island today–I might have seen the above review and stayed away from what can only be described as the worst torture device invented since that Tomb Raider ride at King’s Island (I swear Kylie and I almost died that day in Cincinnati). The thing that makes the Wonder Wheel, AKA Evil Wheel Of Death, different is that there are a few “swinging” cars that you can ride in. From the ground these look like a slow, breezy enjoyable ride, but from 100 ft, they are the fastest way to an anxiety attack. Once the wheel turned, much to my surprise, the cage we were locked in rapidly hurled down a metal track while I tried to convince myself that I was not starring in Final Destination 4. And what made it worse was knowing that it was all going to happen again in a few short moments. I think my feet went numb.

I guess I should also share that I’ve had a slight phobia of ferris wheels since I was about 12 years old when my mom and I went on this sort of death trap:

The crazy carney thought he was doing us a favor leaving all the kiddos up there an extra 15 minutes, but once the wind blew hard and I saw a random spare tire that seemed to be holding the apparatus together, I freaked. My mom freaked. But I honestly thought my fear had dissipated by now. What sort of self-respecting 26 year old has a fear of Ferris Wheels–the slowest, most benign carnival ride in existence. I guess they call it an irrational fear for a reason.