life in the fast lane

by Stephanie

I was having a discussion about opposite sex relations the other day with a male friend, and he said this:
“Women are like cats. Men are like balls of yarn. If you just hand the cat a ball of yarn, they’ll get bored.”
What the what?
I was intrigued. Ronnie’s perspective was blowing my mind, and I wanted to hear more. I always viewed it the other way around. Sadly, he had only reached page 26 of Neil Strauss’s infamous book, The Game, and couldn’t give me much more insight (still not sure if he was kidding about that or not). I’m sure some of you are familiar with that book. It spawned the VH1 show The Pickup Artist starring Mystery, that guy who, despite the fact that he looked like a cartoon version of Tommy Lee (is that eyeliner??? and oh lawd, that ridiculous hat!), he managed to pick up every woman he ever approached in a bar. He used asinine tools like the “neg,” (AKA back-handed compliments) intended to drive women crazy. I remember watching that show and thinking how funny it was to see him attempt to impart his “wisdom” in the ways of women to his socially-awkward minions, but certainly there was no truth to that. Puh-leaze. I, and most of the women I know, are MUCH smarter than to fall for that.

And then it struck me: the race car driver. I used to work at a spa and there was a fitness member who also just happened to be an Indy race car driver. And he was from South Africa, which means he just happened to have a charming accent. Which also means he just happened to be TROUBLE. And he was also a top-notch tool. But I loved it. So rude, but yet so charming. The combination of his looks, his cocky swagger, his ability to drive a car over 200 mph and the fact that he never could remember my name made him increasingly more attractive. And the times that super nice guys have been completely available to me? I’m ashamed to admit, but yeah, I got a little bored. So maybe I’m not smarter than that. Maybe the yarn does need to be dangled a little in front of my face first.

Don’t get the wrong impression, though, I don’t think the tools are long-term contenders. No, I’d like to think a nice guy will finish last. But the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one, right?