Why I Hate Public Intoxication Holidays
Disclaimer: this post contains adult language. It was simply unavoidable, sorry.
Today is St. Patrick’s day. A day when the whole city puts on a shade of green they would never dare to wear on any other day. A day when people drink….a lot. I live in Hoboken which means I got the extra special delight of witnessing two St. Patrick’s day (Hoboken has their own special celebration 2 weeks prior, but then they proceed to don their ridiculous green outfits on the actual day as well).
Public intoxication sucks. Two weeks ago the streets of Hoboken reeked of Bud Light and regret. I love a good beer as much as the next person, but drinking to the point of sloppy obliteration? In the wise words of Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon: I’m too old for that shit. So on these holidays, I tend to do my own thing, and stay away from those folks that perpetually seem to live in the movie Animal House, but sometimes, in the case of today, I’m forced to interact with the drunken public even if it’s to do something as simple as hail a cab.
I just got finished with class in Midtown, and took the Path back to Hoboken. The train was so ridiculously packed full of boisterous celebrators, that we were jammed in like sardines in a can. This happens from time to time, but I tend to get a little claustrophobic in these situations, so I got off the train with a pounding headache. I debated on whether or not to walk home or take a cheap cab. I decided to get in the long, very organized cab line. I say it’s very organized because it is obvious where the line for a cab is and, subsequently, where it is not. About 5 minutes of waiting later, a crowd of green, scantily clad drunkards made their way towards the line. It was obvious a new train of passengers had just been dropped off, and as I made my way to the front of the line, I notice that this crowd is trying to cut across to the front of the line. This woman passes me, looks me in the eye and says “it’s alright, I’m walking around you” so I get the impression that she is aware how this line works. I’m next in line and as I approach the next cab and get in, somewhere along the way this very same woman gets very, angrily confused. She thinks that she and her group of girls and very-large scary men are next in line and that I have stolen her cab (mind you there is a huge selection of approximately 20 cabs waiting for passengers essentially meaning she should be waiting only 10 more seconds to get her cab). Thinking that I have slighted she starts to aggressively yell in my direction. She approaches my cab and I see her lock eyes with me as she yells “I hope you gain another 20 or 30 pounds, you fucking whore!” She continued to rant, and I implored my driver to get the hell out of there, but if you know anything about Hoboken taxis, you would know that a cab driver is never going to take a single fare, so he reassures me that I’m in the right, but he gets out to look for another passenger leaving me alone in the car as this woman continues to shout hateful things about my physical appearance. She exclaims that there is no way that she would ever get in a cab with me after what she thinks I’ve done, and I’m left dumbfounded as to why this cab driver is even attempting to linger in this mayhem.
I just got dropped off, and I’ll be honest: I’m completely shaken. When did it become okay to openly hate people in such a manner? I wish I could expound further on what I’m thinking and feeling right now, but I’m at a loss for more words. But I can say this: I absolutely hate St. Patrick’s day.